i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
