So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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