Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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