Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
