I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
