So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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