I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
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Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
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my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize