So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
His nipple licking is glorious
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