i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
