you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize