Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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