fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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