well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize