She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
