I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize