if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
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I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
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You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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