This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
