so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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