Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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