Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
