I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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