I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize