i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
