he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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