I think im going to throw up on grandma
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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