im drinking this country out of the recession.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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