Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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