just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
