4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
