it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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