she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
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