I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never un-have a 4some
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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