I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
