wanna go halves on a baby?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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