i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
