sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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