You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
