she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
A bitchslap is in order.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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