My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
