Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
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She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
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We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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