my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
