Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
