I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
