The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's great music for shaving your balls
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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