For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
