and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
