I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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