He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
