my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
