Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
