Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
