he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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