i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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