you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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