I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize