Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Randomize
