My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
