i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
