I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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