I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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