Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
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